Welcoming Children with Respect

Yesterday was one of those days where I just did not feel like being social. I was feeling a little stressed, and while I wasn’t in a bad mood or anything, I just didn’t want to socialize. This didn’t seem to sit well with some of the people I interact with on a daily basis. They were expecting the typical energetic and social me…and when they didn’t get that I was bombarded with questions about what was wrong. That made me want to interact even less.

Nothing was wrong. I wasn’t in a bad mood. No one did anything. In my eyes, none of my relationships had changed in any way, nor had my feelings about those relationships. I just wanted to be in my own space and in my own head for a while. And most importantly, I didn’t want to feel like there was something wrong with me for feeling that way. I just wanted my preferences and feelings to be respected and honored.

Then I started thinking about children, and how my day yesterday relates to how we treat children. How often do we greet children at the door of our classrooms expecting the typical, cheery response…and then start over-analyzing when we don’t get it? Do we become irritated when someone doesn’t want to participate at group time or answer a question we’ve asked? Do we hover with questions about what is wrong when a child plays solemnly by himself rather than with other children? Do we really honor and respect children’s feelings and preferences from the moment they enter our classrooms? What are some of the ways that we, as teachers, can make it easier for children to show us how they would like to be treated that day….and allow them the flexibility to change their mind at any time without judgment or question? It’s an interesting question…and one that could be answered in many ways.

One of my favorite ideas that I heard at a conference once (perhaps from Conscious Discipline?) was to have a greeting apron or a greeting board. On this apron or board, you can have a variety of options that children can choose for their morning greeting. Each option would have a picture next to it, such as a picture of two bears hugging to indicate that the child wants a bear hug, a picture of two people giving a high five to indicate a high five greeting. The number of options is unlimited!

  • Bear hug
  • High five
  • Wiggly handshake
  • Smile
  • Wink
  • Wave
  • Thumbs Up
  • Fist Bump
  • Bow to each other
  • Clapping
  • Sogi – This is a Polynesian greeting in which you press your nose against the other person’s nose and inhale deeply at the same time
  • Sing a song
  • Use sign language
  • Blow a kiss
  • Just say hello

After we welcome children in the classroom, how can we continue to respect their individuality? I’m thinking about my own behavior in a classroom and how sometimes I want to participate but other times I just want to listen. Could we give children cards at group time to sit in front of them in which they get to make that same choice? What are other times during the day when we can respect their preferences? What do you do in your classroom? I’d love to hear from you!

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